By now, your kids are likely settled in at school and and you're back into a routine. Sort of. Lots of fellow parents have mentioned that their children are perfectly-behaved for their teachers, but run amok once they get out of school each day (tantrums, crying inconsolably, etc., etc.). Sound familiar? It turns out, this is quite common and there's a phrase for it: after-school restraint collapse.
It's exactly what it sounds like - after an entire day of exercising restraint in school, they release their true emotions at home, their safe space.
So, what can you do? According to Dr. Andrea Nair, there are five things we can do to help these outbursts when kids get home.
RE-CONNECT POSITIVELY
Greet your child with a smile and a hug instead of, “Do you have any homework?”
CREATE SPACE
Give your child time to hear his/her/their thoughts right after pick-up time. If you are driving, put on the radio and stay quiet. If you are walking, say little or just comment on the nice things you notice: “Did you see that cute little yellow bird?” This isn’t the time for big conversations.
FEED THEM
Assume that many of your children’s tanks are empty when they get home. Fill the physical one by setting out food for them without saying anything. Real food like veggie sticks, cut fruit, cheese, or nuts will give them the boost they need.
PROVIDE DECOMPRESSION TIME
Also, think about using “play therapy” with your child even if he or she is a teenager! People decompress through play, which helps process the events of the day. Provide time to either do nothing/ rest or play out the day in a physical way. Some younger children like to wrestle, run around, or get in a tickle fight. Older ones might like to go for a bike ride or hammer out their energy on an instrument.This might sound odd, but being upside down can really help, so spend some time in downward dog! There’s a reason “inversion poses” are recommended in yoga.
HAVE FUN
Laughter releases the same tension as tears. Having fun is a great way to release tension from the day. Tell a funny story, a new joke. Do something you all love, even if it's for a short while.
